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I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.
Christian Finnegan
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Christian Finnegan
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: April 1
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Albany
New York
Fletcher Christian Finnegan
Anything
Physician
Need
Physicians
Depend
Needs
Avoid
Work
Line
People
Depends
Told
Lines
More quotes by Christian Finnegan
Canada, or as i call them, America Light.
Christian Finnegan
Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.
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What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!
Christian Finnegan
There's something so awesome about being able to get up in front of a microphone and do exactly what you want. Stand-up is as close as you're ever going to get to being 100 percent in control of a situation artistically, and I don't understand why people wouldn't want to keep doing that.
Christian Finnegan
I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.
Christian Finnegan
You know what I'm great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word 'trivial' in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial - as in not important. Trivial - as in maybe you should've gone to grad school.
Christian Finnegan
America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.
Christian Finnegan
If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.
Christian Finnegan
The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.
Christian Finnegan
I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.
Christian Finnegan
Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.
Christian Finnegan
Do me a favor, guys. Don't drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we're talking about every dude knows.
Christian Finnegan
Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.
Christian Finnegan
Growing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I always wanted that hour special on cable.
Christian Finnegan
I think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.
Christian Finnegan
Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.
Christian Finnegan
If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That's a mistake a lot of people make - they think a year is a long time and it's really not.
Christian Finnegan
I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.
Christian Finnegan
I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.
Christian Finnegan
I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to do the best you can while remaining who you are.
Christian Finnegan
