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Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.

Christian Finnegan

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Christian Finnegan
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: April 1
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Albany
New York
Fletcher Christian Finnegan
Enough
Egocentric
Disciplined
Basically
Actor
Writer
Stand
Actors

More quotes by Christian Finnegan

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What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!
Christian Finnegan
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I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to do the best you can while remaining who you are.
Christian Finnegan
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Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.
Christian Finnegan
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I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.
Christian Finnegan
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Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.
Christian Finnegan
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America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.
Christian Finnegan
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There's something so awesome about being able to get up in front of a microphone and do exactly what you want. Stand-up is as close as you're ever going to get to being 100 percent in control of a situation artistically, and I don't understand why people wouldn't want to keep doing that.
Christian Finnegan
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I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, Well, I could always go back to law school.
Christian Finnegan
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If the right opportunity came along, maybe, but I'm more focused on trying to create a TV show where I can be myself, rather than playing a wacky neighbor. Although, I would gladly play a wacky neighbor of any sort.
Christian Finnegan
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Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.
Christian Finnegan
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I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.
Christian Finnegan
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The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.
Christian Finnegan
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I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.
Christian Finnegan
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I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.
Christian Finnegan
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Canada, or as i call them, America Light.
Christian Finnegan
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Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.
Christian Finnegan
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If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That's a mistake a lot of people make - they think a year is a long time and it's really not.
Christian Finnegan
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Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.
Christian Finnegan
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Growing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I always wanted that hour special on cable.
Christian Finnegan
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I think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.
Christian Finnegan