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America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.

Christian Finnegan

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Christian Finnegan
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: April 1
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Albany
New York
Fletcher Christian Finnegan
Periods
America
May
Wizards
Jordan
Entering
Michael
Period

More quotes by Christian Finnegan

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I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to do the best you can while remaining who you are.
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I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.
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Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.
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The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.
Christian Finnegan
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Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.
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Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.
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Do me a favor, guys. Don't drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we're talking about every dude knows.
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I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, Well, I could always go back to law school.
Christian Finnegan
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If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.
Christian Finnegan
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I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.
Christian Finnegan
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There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the lead singer of Kajagoogoo is, I'm your guy. His name is Limahl, by the way.
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Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.
Christian Finnegan
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Canada, or as i call them, America Light.
Christian Finnegan
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I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.
Christian Finnegan
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Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.
Christian Finnegan
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You know what I'm great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word 'trivial' in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial - as in not important. Trivial - as in maybe you should've gone to grad school.
Christian Finnegan
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If the right opportunity came along, maybe, but I'm more focused on trying to create a TV show where I can be myself, rather than playing a wacky neighbor. Although, I would gladly play a wacky neighbor of any sort.
Christian Finnegan
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I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.
Christian Finnegan
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I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.
Christian Finnegan
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What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!
Christian Finnegan