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I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Enough
Swing
Long
Throwing
Good
Laughing
People
Stand
Pretty
Getting
Stuff
Back
Laughs

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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
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If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
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If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
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Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.
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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
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I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
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When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
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An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
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Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
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I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
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