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I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Back
Laughs
Enough
Swing
Long
Throwing
Good
Laughing
People
Stand
Pretty
Getting
Stuff
More quotes by Chris Rock
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
Chris Rock
Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her.
Chris Rock
A lot of racism going on in the world right now. Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people. You know why? 'Cuz we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people.
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Chris Rock
A man is only as faithful as his options.
Chris Rock
When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
Chris Rock
If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
Chris Rock
If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.
Chris Rock
Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
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Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.
Chris Rock
Money is the best lotion in the world.
Chris Rock
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock
So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
Chris Rock