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I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Like
Bullied
People
Bullying
Central
Comedy
Talk
Funny
Think
Thinking
Outlawing
More quotes by Chris Rock
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
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I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
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I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
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I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.
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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
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I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.
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Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for.
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
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Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
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The thing about Barack Obama, just from being around him, is he's cooler than the other politicians, but just nerdy enough to do the job. Like you can't be really cool and be the president.
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