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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Stand
Africa
Special
Pull
Doesn
Beat
Done
Weird
Something
Beats
Really
Figure
Make
Figures
Worldwide
Comedy
Translate

More quotes by Chris Rock

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The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So any conversation you've had more than once, anything you see happening to you that you see happening to a friend, you go, Hmmm, that's a situation I can make funny.
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Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
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There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
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Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
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Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
Chris Rock
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A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
Chris Rock
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Chris Rock
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock
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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Chris Rock
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They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
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Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
Chris Rock