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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Anything
Hard
Years
Things
Spruce
Artificially
Places
Married
More quotes by Chris Rock
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
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Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
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When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
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I don't need a president with a bucket list!
Chris Rock
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
Chris Rock
My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
Chris Rock
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock
I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.
Chris Rock
There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
Chris Rock
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
Chris Rock
Hollywood's just not funny.
Chris Rock
Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock
Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
Chris Rock
