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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
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More quotes by Chris Rock
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
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When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
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You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
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There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.
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Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
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So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.
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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!
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