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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Life
Mets
Impossible
Happy
Woman
Something
Make
Always
Complaints
Never
Complaining

More quotes by Chris Rock

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If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
Chris Rock
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You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
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Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
Chris Rock
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You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock
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People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
Chris Rock
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Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
Chris Rock
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I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
Chris Rock
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I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
Chris Rock
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
Chris Rock
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Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
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Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
Chris Rock
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
Chris Rock
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I believe you got my property?
Chris Rock
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Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Chris Rock
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God bless America. And no place else.
Chris Rock
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When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
Chris Rock