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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Impossible
Happy
Woman
Something
Make
Always
Complaints
Never
Complaining
Life
Mets

More quotes by Chris Rock

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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
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Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
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I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
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No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
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I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
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I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.
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I think it's better to have ideas.
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Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
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