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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Happens
Thought
Thing
Coolest
Would
Comedian
Teenager
Boys
Happen
Wrong
More quotes by Chris Rock
Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
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Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
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We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
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If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
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God bless America. And no place else.
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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
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Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
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If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
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Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.
Chris Rock
