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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Would
Comedian
Teenager
Boys
Happen
Wrong
Happens
Thought
Thing
Coolest
More quotes by Chris Rock
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
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I don't need a president with a bucket list!
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I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.
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Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
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I love black people, but I hate niggers.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
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I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
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Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.
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In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
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I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.
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Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
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