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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Teenager
Boys
Happen
Wrong
Happens
Thought
Thing
Coolest
Would
Comedian

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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
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I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
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When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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