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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Person
Make
Things
Laugh
Sex
Laughing
Two
Persons
Best
More quotes by Chris Rock
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Chris Rock
My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
Chris Rock
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
Chris Rock
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
Chris Rock
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
Chris Rock
Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
Chris Rock
If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
Chris Rock
See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
Chris Rock
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Chris Rock
Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
Chris Rock
The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
Chris Rock
The thing about Barack Obama, just from being around him, is he's cooler than the other politicians, but just nerdy enough to do the job. Like you can't be really cool and be the president.
Chris Rock
Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
Chris Rock
Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
Chris Rock
If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
Chris Rock
A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
Chris Rock
I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.
Chris Rock
