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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
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Laugh
Sex
Laughing
Two
Persons
Best
Person
Make
More quotes by Chris Rock
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
Chris Rock
When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
Chris Rock
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
Chris Rock
We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
Chris Rock
See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
Chris Rock
My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.
Chris Rock
When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
Chris Rock
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock
Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
Chris Rock
A lot of racism going on in the world right now. Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people. You know why? 'Cuz we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people.
Chris Rock
I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock
I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
Chris Rock
Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
Chris Rock
Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Chris Rock
I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock
So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
Chris Rock
It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
Chris Rock
