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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Two
Persons
Best
Person
Make
Things
Laugh
Sex
Laughing
More quotes by Chris Rock
When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
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No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
Chris Rock
Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.
Chris Rock
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
Chris Rock
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Chris Rock
No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
Chris Rock
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
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If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
Chris Rock
I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
Chris Rock