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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Killing
Pocket
Humor
Wanna
Somebody
Tape
Head
Pockets
Funny
Gotta
Away
Rap
Demo
Home
Shoot
Outta
Murder
Demos

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I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
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I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
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I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
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Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
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When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
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When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
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Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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