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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Funny
Gotta
Away
Rap
Demo
Home
Shoot
Outta
Murder
Demos
Killing
Pocket
Humor
Wanna
Somebody
Tape
Head
Pockets
More quotes by Chris Rock
I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.
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I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
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When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
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Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
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When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.
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Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.
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I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.
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Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.
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Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years.
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Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven't been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they're going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
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