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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Away
Rap
Demo
Home
Shoot
Outta
Murder
Demos
Killing
Pocket
Humor
Wanna
Somebody
Tape
Head
Pockets
Funny
Gotta

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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
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Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
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That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
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If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
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I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
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See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
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I believe you got my property?
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Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to get that through to everybody.
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When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
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Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
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