Quote

If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Somebody
Tape
Head
Pockets
Funny
Gotta
Away
Rap
Demo
Home
Shoot
Outta
Murder
Demos
Killing
Pocket
Humor
Wanna

More quotes by Chris Rock

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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
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Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
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The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
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Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.
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Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to get that through to everybody.
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
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Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
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Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven't been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they're going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.
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You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
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My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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The thing about Barack Obama, just from being around him, is he's cooler than the other politicians, but just nerdy enough to do the job. Like you can't be really cool and be the president.
Chris Rock