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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Head
Pockets
Funny
Gotta
Away
Rap
Demo
Home
Shoot
Outta
Murder
Demos
Killing
Pocket
Humor
Wanna
Somebody
Tape
More quotes by Chris Rock
I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.
Chris Rock
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
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Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
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Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
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I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
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I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
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No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
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Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
Chris Rock
It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.
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Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
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Hollywood's just not funny.
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See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
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Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
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Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
Chris Rock