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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Problems
Guy
Daytime
Funny
Strip
Problem
Club
Clubs
Sun
Guys
Humor
More quotes by Chris Rock
I don't need a president with a bucket list!
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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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There's a difference between racism and I don't know any better. I'm clueless. Racism is like, I'm trying to make you feel bad. That's racism.
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
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I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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America is the greatest country in the whole world.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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I believe you got my property?
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
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My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
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I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
Chris Rock
