Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
Chris Rock
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Lying
Funny
Kenny
Woman
Tony
House
Kevin
Tell
Biggest
Women
Lies
Men
Baby
Like
Humor
More quotes by Chris Rock
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
Chris Rock
Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Chris Rock
I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
Chris Rock
Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
Chris Rock
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
Chris Rock
I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
Chris Rock
You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.
Chris Rock
Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
Chris Rock
If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
Chris Rock
If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
Chris Rock
I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Chris Rock
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
Chris Rock
An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
Chris Rock
There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
Chris Rock
There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock
People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
Chris Rock
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Chris Rock