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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Men
Baby
Like
Humor
Lying
Funny
Kenny
Woman
Tony
House
Kevin
Tell
Biggest
Women
Lies
More quotes by Chris Rock
God bless America. And no place else.
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A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
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We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
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We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
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The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
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I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son or daughter doesn't have to be as fixated on race as I am, because he or she will grow up in freer times.
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
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I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.
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An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
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I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
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Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
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Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
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I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea changing a belief is trickier.
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Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
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