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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Women
Lies
Men
Baby
Like
Humor
Lying
Funny
Kenny
Woman
Tony
House
Kevin
Tell
Biggest
More quotes by Chris Rock
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
Chris Rock
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
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I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
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I love black people, but I hate niggers.
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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
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When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
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When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.
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I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
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The thing about Barack Obama, just from being around him, is he's cooler than the other politicians, but just nerdy enough to do the job. Like you can't be really cool and be the president.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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I believe you got my property?
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Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Chris Rock
Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
Chris Rock
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
Chris Rock
