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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Didn
Tests
Pay
Nightstand
Tomorrow
Pays
Humor
Daddy
Study
Gas
Water
Electricity
Funny
Candle
Bigs
Test

More quotes by Chris Rock

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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
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I think it's better to have ideas.
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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.
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I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
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There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
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A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
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I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
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I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
Chris Rock
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I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
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No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
Chris Rock