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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Calls
Humor
Funny
Kids
Going
Mommy
Grandma
Mama
Jail
More quotes by Chris Rock
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock
The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
Chris Rock
I have four jackets, five pants, whatever, that are all the same. If you see U2 in concert, they wear the same thing every night. They just got a bunch of them. Albert Einstein used to wear brown suits every day. Why waste brainpower on something that is trivial?
Chris Rock
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
Chris Rock
You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
Chris Rock
People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
Chris Rock
I believe you got my property?
Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.
Chris Rock
You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
Chris Rock
In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
Chris Rock
Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
Chris Rock
If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
Chris Rock
When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
Chris Rock
America is the greatest country in the whole world.
Chris Rock
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
Chris Rock
Pretty girls have problems too.
Chris Rock
