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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Going
Mommy
Grandma
Mama
Jail
Calls
Humor
Funny
Kids
More quotes by Chris Rock
I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
Chris Rock
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
Chris Rock
I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
Chris Rock
Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
Chris Rock
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
Chris Rock
I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
Chris Rock
Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
Chris Rock
Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her.
Chris Rock
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
Chris Rock
I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
Chris Rock
When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
Chris Rock
I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.
Chris Rock
Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
Chris Rock
You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
Chris Rock
Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.
Chris Rock
People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
Chris Rock
So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
Chris Rock
