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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Jail
Calls
Humor
Funny
Kids
Going
Mommy
Grandma
Mama

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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
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I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
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Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven't been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they're going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.
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The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So any conversation you've had more than once, anything you see happening to you that you see happening to a friend, you go, Hmmm, that's a situation I can make funny.
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
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If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
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You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
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People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
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