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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Humor
Funny
Wish
Hate
Klux
Klan
Ems
Join

More quotes by Chris Rock

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I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.
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Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.
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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
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Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
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People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
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I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
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I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
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I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
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I believe you got my property?
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I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
Chris Rock
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
Chris Rock