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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Humor
College
Books
Community
Funny
Learn
Disco
Book
Ten
Like
Dollars
More quotes by Chris Rock
The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
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A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Chris Rock
When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
Chris Rock
When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
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Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
Chris Rock
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock
You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.
Chris Rock
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Chris Rock
Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.
Chris Rock
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
Chris Rock
I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.
Chris Rock