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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Like
Dollars
Humor
College
Books
Community
Funny
Learn
Disco
Book
Ten

More quotes by Chris Rock

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People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
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When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
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Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
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Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
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Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
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Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
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I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son or daughter doesn't have to be as fixated on race as I am, because he or she will grow up in freer times.
Chris Rock
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
Chris Rock
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
Chris Rock