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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Funny
Sticking
Liquor
Harvard
Store
Stores
Type
Humor
Education

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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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A man is only as faithful as his options.
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
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I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
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The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
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You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
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In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
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If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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