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I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Kids
Runs
Save
Wait
Humor
Waiting
Funny
House
Jackson
Running
Michael

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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
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I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
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I believe you got my property?
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You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
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I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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Hollywood's just not funny.
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
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That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
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