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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Drive
Hour
Property
Rich
Hours
Half
House
More quotes by Chris Rock
I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
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Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
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I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.
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I don't need a president with a bucket list!
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I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
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The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
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If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
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Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
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A man is only as faithful as his options.
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
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The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
Chris Rock
