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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
House
Drive
Hour
Property
Rich
Hours
Half
More quotes by Chris Rock
My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
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Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
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Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
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The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
Chris Rock
I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
Chris Rock
I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.
Chris Rock
Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
Chris Rock
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
Chris Rock
I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Chris Rock
If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
Chris Rock
God bless America. And no place else.
Chris Rock
Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
Chris Rock
I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
Chris Rock
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.
Chris Rock
I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
Chris Rock
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock