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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
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Entire
Large
Instead
Soda
Happy
Ghetto
Life
Diet
Diets
Medium
More quotes by Chris Rock
It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
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I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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God bless America. And no place else.
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Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
Chris Rock
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
Chris Rock
You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
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I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son or daughter doesn't have to be as fixated on race as I am, because he or she will grow up in freer times.
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All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.
Chris Rock
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock
There's a difference between racism and I don't know any better. I'm clueless. Racism is like, I'm trying to make you feel bad. That's racism.
Chris Rock
When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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