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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Money
Woke
Jump
Gates
Bill
Investing
Bills
Window
More quotes by Chris Rock
Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
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There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
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Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
Chris Rock
You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.
Chris Rock
Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
Chris Rock
Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.
Chris Rock
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
Chris Rock
Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
Chris Rock
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
Chris Rock
Pretty girls have problems too.
Chris Rock
If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
Chris Rock
People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
Chris Rock
No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
Chris Rock
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock
I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Chris Rock
I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.
Chris Rock