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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Bill
Investing
Bills
Window
Money
Woke
Jump
Gates

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Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to get that through to everybody.
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An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
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I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.
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You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
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Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
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Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
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Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
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People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
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I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.
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