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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Comedians
Emperor
Comedian
Clothes
Tell
More quotes by Chris Rock
I don't need a president with a bucket list!
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We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!
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People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
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A man is only as faithful as his options.
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I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
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When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
