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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
President
Jobs
Money
Two
Peace
More quotes by Chris Rock
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock
Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
Chris Rock
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
Chris Rock
I have four jackets, five pants, whatever, that are all the same. If you see U2 in concert, they wear the same thing every night. They just got a bunch of them. Albert Einstein used to wear brown suits every day. Why waste brainpower on something that is trivial?
Chris Rock
If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
Chris Rock
No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
Chris Rock
By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.
Chris Rock
When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
Chris Rock
I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
Chris Rock
The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
Chris Rock
Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
Chris Rock
Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
Chris Rock
In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
Chris Rock
There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
Chris Rock
I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
Chris Rock