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I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
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More quotes by Chris Rock
When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
Chris Rock
Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock
Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
Chris Rock
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
Chris Rock
So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
Chris Rock
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
Chris Rock
I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
Chris Rock
The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
Chris Rock
Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
Chris Rock
I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
Chris Rock
I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.
Chris Rock
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock
That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
Chris Rock
If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
Chris Rock
I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
Chris Rock