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See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Walk
Walks
White
Black
Something
Men
Gotta
More quotes by Chris Rock
I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
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Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.
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The thing about Barack Obama, just from being around him, is he's cooler than the other politicians, but just nerdy enough to do the job. Like you can't be really cool and be the president.
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I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
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When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.
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No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
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A man is only as faithful as his options.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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I believe you got my property?
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
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I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
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