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Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
White
Zebra
Black
Another
Zebras
Give
Giraffe
Anything
Roof
Giving
Lasts
Men
Last
Woman

More quotes by Chris Rock

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So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
Chris Rock
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Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
Chris Rock
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The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
Chris Rock
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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
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It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.
Chris Rock
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
Chris Rock
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
Chris Rock
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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!
Chris Rock
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When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
Chris Rock
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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
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I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.
Chris Rock
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
Chris Rock
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Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
Chris Rock
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
Chris Rock
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
Chris Rock
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People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
Chris Rock
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
Chris Rock
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
Chris Rock
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
Chris Rock