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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Never
Outside
Safe
Humor
Detectors
Inside
Metal
Waiting
Metals
Sure
Guns
Funny
Clubs
Feels
Gun
More quotes by Chris Rock
A lot of racism going on in the world right now. Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people. You know why? 'Cuz we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
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Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
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Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
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I do what I can do when I can do it.
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Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
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I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
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We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
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Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
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I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.
Chris Rock