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Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Time
Lying
Men
More quotes by Chris Rock
Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to get that through to everybody.
Chris Rock
Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.
Chris Rock
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
Chris Rock
I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
Chris Rock
Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Chris Rock
When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
Chris Rock
If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
Chris Rock
I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Chris Rock
We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
Chris Rock
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock
The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
Chris Rock
The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
Chris Rock
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
Chris Rock
If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
Chris Rock
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
Chris Rock
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
Chris Rock