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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Bring
Spice
Things
Spices
Like
Couples
Whenever
Married
Couple
Along
Single
Crackheads
More quotes by Chris Rock
I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
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Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
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Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
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When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
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I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.
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When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea changing a belief is trickier.
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Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock
I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
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Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
Chris Rock