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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Single
Crackheads
Bring
Spice
Things
Spices
Like
Couples
Whenever
Married
Couple
Along
More quotes by Chris Rock
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
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Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
Chris Rock
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
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When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
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Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
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I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
Chris Rock
I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
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You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.
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There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.
Chris Rock
