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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Like
Couples
Whenever
Married
Couple
Along
Single
Crackheads
Bring
Spice
Things
Spices

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No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
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If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
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Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
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America is the greatest country in the whole world.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
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I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
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So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
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I don't need a president with a bucket list!
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
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Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
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A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
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