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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Like
Couples
Whenever
Married
Couple
Along
Single
Crackheads
Bring
Spice
Things
Spices
More quotes by Chris Rock
So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
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Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
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Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
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The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
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Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
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Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
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Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
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I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
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I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
Chris Rock
