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Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Home
Son
Come
Gonna
Ricans
Like
Daughter
Vida
Humor
Livin
Funny
Puerto
Family
Gays
Hate
Whoever
Ends
Gay
More quotes by Chris Rock
Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
Chris Rock
So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
Chris Rock
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Chris Rock
See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
Chris Rock
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
Chris Rock
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
Chris Rock
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.
Chris Rock
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Chris Rock
I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.
Chris Rock
All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.
Chris Rock
Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
Chris Rock
I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
Chris Rock
I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
Chris Rock
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
Chris Rock
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
Chris Rock