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They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Wouldn
Nobody
Party
Ever
Come
Tuesday
Would
November
Throw
Vote

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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
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The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
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The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So any conversation you've had more than once, anything you see happening to you that you see happening to a friend, you go, Hmmm, that's a situation I can make funny.
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
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Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
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