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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Planes
Slit
Bill
Woke
Window
Gas
Tomorrow
Plane
Saying
Jump
Rich
Gates
Money
Wealthy
Even
Throat

More quotes by Chris Rock

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We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
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I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
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Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
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You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
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I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
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Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
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I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
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Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
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