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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Window
Gas
Tomorrow
Plane
Saying
Jump
Rich
Gates
Money
Wealthy
Even
Throat
Planes
Slit
Bill
Woke
More quotes by Chris Rock
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
Chris Rock
I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
Chris Rock
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
Chris Rock
If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
Chris Rock
I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
Chris Rock
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
I do what I can do when I can do it.
Chris Rock
The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
Chris Rock
I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
Chris Rock
I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.
Chris Rock
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
Chris Rock
It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.
Chris Rock
Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Chris Rock
Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.
Chris Rock
America is the greatest country in the whole world.
Chris Rock
I believe you got my property?
Chris Rock
Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
Chris Rock
You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
Chris Rock
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
Chris Rock